Children with ADD/ADHD generally have deficits in executive function: the ability to think and plan ahead, organize, control impulses, follow through, and complete tasks. That means you need to take over as the executive, providing extra guidance while your child slowly acquires executive skills of his or her own.
Your most important attributes in this process are common sense and a positive attitude. Common sense will tell you which behaviors to work on the most, when to negotiate and when to stand firm, and how to head off problems before they start. A positive attitude will help you see the small, praiseworthy successes that can add up to permanent improvement in your child’s behavior.
Tips for managing your child’s ADHD:
- Communicate. Be clear and concise when communicating with your child. Give instructions one step at a time; make requests one at a time.
- Be consistent. What you expect one day should be what you expect every day. Don’t give in just because you’re tired or the child is nagging.
- Set a good example. Show your child the behaviors you’d like to see. Be a model of patience, healthy habits, and good manners. Be at least as organized as you want your child to be.
- Anticipate and avoid problems. Know your child's triggers and what situations lead to problems. Become adept at heading off trouble before it starts.
- Praise good behavior. Praise is powerful reinforcement, so make every effort to "catch your child being good."
- Negotiate and consult with your child. You’re a parent, not a drill sergeant, so try to avoid barking orders at your child. Start a dialogue, and be open to what your kid has to say.
- Pick your battles. Not every situation requires intervention. Keep the big picture in mind and let the little things slide. If you don’t, your home will be one of constant conflict and criticism.
Top Five Myths about ADD / ADHD
Myth #1: All kids with ADHD are hyperactive.
Some children with ADHD are hyperactive, but many others with attention problems are not. Children with ADHD who are inattentive, but not overly active, may appear to be spacey and unmotivated.
Myth #2: Kids with ADHD can never pay attention.
Children with ADHD are often able to concentrate on activities they enjoy. But no matter how hard they try, they have trouble maintaining focus when the task at hand is boring or repetitive.
Myth #3: Kids with ADHD choose to be difficult. They could behave better if they wanted to.
Children with ADHD may do their best to be good, but still be unable to sit still, stay quiet, or pay attention. They may appear disobedient, but that doesn’t mean they’re acting out on purpose.
Myth #4: Kids will eventually grow out of ADHD.
ADHD often continues into adulthood, so don’t wait for your child to outgrow the problem. Treatment can help your child learn to manage and minimize the symptoms.
Myth #5: Medication is the best treatment option for ADHD.
Medication is often prescribed for ADHD, but it might not be the best option for your child. Effective treatment for ADHD also includes education, behavior therapy, support at home and school, exercise, and proper nutrition.