Addressing Behavior Issues
Behavior issues can occur when children are seeking attention, when they can no longer entertain themselves, or when they cannot express what they want or need. If the latter reason is the cause, it may be beneficial to have your child evaluated for a possible speech delay. Every parent will be relieved to know, that less than perfect behaviors are a normal part of growing up. Sadly, for some children, any attention, good or bad, is still attention. Disruptive or hurtful actions should not be allowed. This is where disciplining a child comes into play.
The first and most important rule of discipline is to be consistent. There are many ways parents can discipline a child and they should research methods, talk together to decide what method they will use and then follow through each time an unwanted behavior occurs. Some parents prefer redirection techniques, others reward systems, and others prefer specific time out programs that allow a child to change his own behavior, and if not, he goes into time out. Whatever method a parent decides upon, consistency is the important word to remember. Keep in mind that if your child has developed a behavior you do not want, it could take up to eight weeks to change that behavior.
There are many things parents can do to avoid breakdowns and unwanted actions in their children:
- Limit the number of rules for your child.
- Start with rules of safety and as your child gets older, you can add more rules.
- Childproofing and eliminating temptations while a child is in the curious stage of development is helpful.
- Avoid meltdowns by not planning outings when your child is hungry, tired or sick.
- When planning longer outings, such as dinner out or a trip, create an outing kit for your child, by filling a small backpack. Fill it with crayons, paper or coloring books, matchbox cars, small dolls, favorite snacks and drinks, mini DVD player with headset, or music with headset.
Other methods parents can use to avoid problems are to offer a child only two choices, whether it be the clothes he will wear, the snack he will get or the activity he will do. The choices are both your choices, but he is getting to make a decision. Children thrive on routines and need to know what is coming next, what to expect. Plan for transitions by giving your child a one to five minute warning, depending on age, or use a timer or bell as a reminder. This works well for mealtimes, bedtime, washing hands or cleaning up. Pick your battles with your child. Remember that temper tantrums are a normal part of development. Try to ignore them as much as possible, but if your child is where he could hurt himself, remove him from the situation and place him somewhere safe until he cools down.
Children learn by watching those around them, especially their parents. The best way to show your child how to behave is to set a positive example for him or her to follow. It is also up to you as the parent, to set expectations and decide upon what is appropriate behavior for your child. Talk to your child calmly, do not overreact and repeat your requests to your child. Know his limitations and remember that you too must say please and thank you if you expect to hear it back from your child.
Provided by Jacqueline Mace
Virginia Beach Early Intervention /Infant Program